Halloween Costumes That Have No Business Being Slutty

Halloween is about getting as much candy as you possibly can until about middle school. The late bloomers¬†might say high school, but once you stop trick or treating you start trickin’ it up! Mostly talking to women here but I suppose guys might be sluttin’ it up too. I don’t like that, let’s pretend I didn’t say it and we are only talking about women. Don’t for one second think we are trying to cover the women up, that couldn’t be further from the truth. (I mean have you seen a Tush Tuesday?) All we are trying to do is persuade them from wearing costumes that just shouldn’t be seen on them altogether.

We are rambling, and if we don’t stop Halloween will be over. So, let’s just get to it shall we?


Mini Mouse

Look, we get it you like Disney movies. But there isn’t a need to see a sexy rodent at the party. Rethink it, no matter how fetch you look. – Exception, unless you’re this women below…

Mini Mouse Halloween Juli anne

Hillary Clinton

No matter how much you love/hate the Presidential candidate you better not ever…ever be seen sluttin’ it up in on of those pant suits. EVER!


Look, zombies are dying out (get it?). Thank god about that too, we’ve had enough. This will also come off like you forgot about it too. Might as well just put a bed sheet over your head. Because face it, you’re not going to get into detail on the makeup so you’ll end up looking like an injured homeless person. And if you go to the trouble this chick went to, then you can get away with it, now someone hand her a beer! #AmIRight?


I’m not even sure who is trying to be a dinosaur but I wouldn’t doubt for a second some¬†paleontologist enthusiast who happens to have boobies wants to show just how sexy a dino can be. Although, you can bet she’s a freak in the sheets, use your best judgement if you see one.

You might be wondering why this is such a short list? Well, there aren’t too many costumes that can’t be out in half. So, sorry to shit on your costume if you had one of these but you should be thanking us at the same time!

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