Should the Next President Be Decided by a Coin Flip?

Based on the Democratic Party’s Iowa Caucus rules, it’s an option. If you weren’t paying attention, the Iowa Caucuses, essentially the first presidential primary election, were held Monday. Ted Cruz won on the Republican side but the winner on the Democratic side wasn’t as clear. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders basically tied but it’s much more confusing than that.

First we have to start at the beginning. What’s a caucus? Is it not just an election? Is there voting? For the Republicans, it’s almost like a regular election. The caucus goers fill out a ballot, the votes are counted, then the results are sent out. The Democrats do it differently and much weirder.

Democratic caucus goers meet wherever the caucus is being held, then they gather in a corner of the area that represents their preferred candidate. If a candidate doesn’t have 15% of the voters, their supporters either must leave or pick a new candidate. I imagine everyone laughs at these losers on their way out. They can’t even pick a cool candidate. Then the number of delegates for that caucus is apportioned to each candidate based on their percentage of supporters.

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That seems simple enough but it ended up creating some problems. What if a caucus is assigned five delegates and two candidates tie? Each gets at least two delegates. That makes sense, right? What about the fifth delegate? They literally flip a coin. I guess it’s fitting as the coin they’re flipping likely has the head of a president on it. I doubt they use those god damn Sacajawea gold dollars.

How is this the best solution? Why does Iowa still do it this way? We give Iowa the privilege of having the first primary. Why do they use such archaic rules? Just hold a standard election like everybody else. You’re not cool because you make people stand in a corner in some empty high school gym. There’s no need for this.

In the end, these coin flips don’t mean much. They only amounted to a few caucus delegates which then become a smaller amount of county delegates, then a smaller amount of state delegates that actually choose the candidate at the Party’s convention. This doesn’t mean things should go on as they are. We all can count now. Even you Iowans.

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