They say, “There is no such thing as a dumb question.” For the most part, this saying is true. There is no such thing as a dumb person? Totally different story. If you’re anything like me, then you have a great dislike for humanity. I suppose there are some rare good ones in the bunch, but for the most part stupidity is aplenty. I’d like to share my thoughts with you on some of these people. Consider this segment your verbal, worldwide “People of Walmart.” If you have button pushers of your own, please feel free to share them in the comments. Maybe those morons will be featured in future posts.
This one goes out to those people that think the 18th time’s the charm.
This man knows exactly what is going on. He’s got his Indiana Jones lookin’ backpack, and is ready to take on the world. Only one obstacle stands in his way. The traffic light. The common man might recognize the need to only push the button once and wait for the flow of traffic to die down, but not this man. No he has the need… The need for speed. So Frank the Tank is going to push that button as many times as it takes for that damn light to change! Little does he know that it doesn’t matter. They don’t have a person monitoring the amount of times pushed. “Oh, shit! This guy is in a real hurry! Carl, let’s get that red light changed in section 37!” No that’s not how it works!
Another likely scenario for these button pushers! The mythical snooze button! First off nobody knows why this lazy asshole isn’t out of bed at 11:27! Secondly, why is your alarm set for 11:27!? Anyways, what chaps my ass about this particular crowd is that you normally set an alarm for a reason. Whether it be school, work, or important meetings, there is a reason for it! Why on earth would you set this alarm if you are only going to hit the snooze button 8 times and be late or at your normal time! Here’s an idea if you know you’re going to hit the snooze button 8 times, then calculate it so you get up at the time you desired IN THE BEGINNING!!!!!!
Pushing buttons undoubtedly chaps my ass! (Pun Intended)