The Dickey – Should you send it?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well when it’s a dick pic those words are, Eww! Gross! Ugh! Hey look at this little thing… WTF? And so on. Since the dawn of the camera the simplistic behavior of the male has been to take pictures of their junk… since they already do everything else to it, why not photograph it too! Then texting came along and it was kizmit!

It is only natural to think a female would enjoy seeing a picture of the male penis, typically erect mind you. A man’s mind operates similarly to the way your dog or cat brings you a dead animal as an offering of affection. It’s almost an innate primal instinct to display their lower region to the world. The only problem is that 9 times out of 10 the world doesn’t want to see it.texting dick pic

What goes through the males mind at the time is simple.  They are seeking validation and a mate. He immediately assumes the woman will become ravenous for his crotch and Uber on over in pursuit of it. He envisions her saying “Oh my god, look at that tree trunk!”

There’s a couple problems with that though.  First off, unless the girl frequently calls the radio show “Love Line,” or she requested the picture, she doesn’t want to receive it! More often than not she will forward it to her friends and they will all laugh at you, as they should.


They say there is an app for everything. Almost everything. Someone up in Silicon Valley needs to figure out a way for a hand to come out of the phone and slap a guy in the face if he aims his camera at his pecker. If you are uncomfortable about the size of your little guy down there, pardon the pun… then get over it, as most women say, “It’s not the size, but how you use it.”

So next time you feel a relapse coming on and you think you are going to have to snap a dickey, hold back… take a deep breath, and throw your phone out the window! You are saving yourself the embarrassment as well as the girl the shell shock of opening a message to reveal your member… Why do you think you mainly see nude women in art galleries and not a nude man? In the words of Elaine Benes, “The female body is a work of art, a males body is utilitarian it’s for getting around… it’s like a jeep!”


Share this: