The Name of the Lions New Offensive Coordinator Has to be a Joke

After a miserable start to the season, the Lions fired offensive coordinator Joe Lombardi. If the name sounds familiar, yes he is related to the legendary coach Vince Lombardi. That’s not the only fun with names we’ll have with this story though.

The Lions also fired their offensive line coaches. Who else was left to coach the offense? Well the Lions promoted their quarterback coach, Jim Bob Cooter, as their new offensive coordinator.


Yes, you read that right. Jim Bob Cooter. That’s fantastic. I don’t believe it could be real. It sounds like a lazily named redneck character from a terrible TV show. Is that really someone’s name or was someone just trying to convey that the guy is a huge redneck? He sounds like a hypothetical. With Calvin Johnson and Golden Tate, heck, Jim Bob Cooter could coach them to be an average offense.

Let’s break down this name. First there’s Jim Bob. Jim and Bob; they’re fine names by themselves but together, it takes on a whole new meaning. I googled the name Jim Bob to see if there are any other famous Jim Bobs. I found Jim Bob Duggar, the father from 18 kids and counting. Of course that guys name is Jim Bob.

Now Jim Bob is just one part of the name. You can’t forget Cooter. Cooter is what your 71 year old aunt calls a vagina. It’s one of the most pathetic of all slangs but in this case it’s a man’s last name. To tie this all back to the redneck thing, Cotter was also the name of the mechanic in Dukes of Hazzard. It’s just too much. Jim Bob Cooter can’t really exist, can he? Oh he does though. Here’s what he looks like.


So just who is the real Jim Bob Cooter? Before Cooter was a coach with Detroit he was with Denver and Indianapolis. Peyton Manning is a big Jim Bob fan. And before he was a coach, he played quarterback at Tennessee, although he only played in three games. That’s all pretty standard. Sounds like any other NFL coach, not a Jim Bob.

Jim Bob has had some excitement before though. He’s been arrested twice in his short life. The first in 2006 was for a DUI. If the cops catch a guy named Jim Bob driving drunk, shouldn’t they just let him go? He can’t help it. His name’s Jim Bob. Would you expect anything less?

The second arrest was more serious and more bizarre. in 2009 he was charged with burglary after he broke into a woman’s house, stripped down, and climbed into bed with her. What the fuck Jim Bob? What did you think you were doing?

Jim Bob has put his criminal past behind him though and has become a respected NFL coach. I wish continued success for Mr. Cooter. I hope someday he becomes a head coach. I can’t wait for Joe Buck to make a cringe worthy joke about Jim Bob.

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