What to watch this weekend: John Wick or 50 Shades of Sh*t?

The first couple months of the year are typically when studios play the bench. They know the bulk of these guys aren’t going to get any awards and they don’t anticipate big blockbusters. Well, this Friday two sequels come out; John Wick: Chapter 2 and Fifty Shades Darker.

Assuming you live in a shoe box I’ll give the rundown on them both. John Wick is this killer… the best around… well this time, it’s personal. Some shit like that at least. I am doing an awful job of selling it, just watch the training video of the lifeless Keanu Reeves… it’s pretty damn impressive.

So, there is that one. What was the other one again? Oh yeah, that chick porn (book porn to guys) on the big screen. The first one was dumb and like everyone in the world says, “the book was better…” Yeah, no doi. When you read your mind paints the picture. Leaving a crystal clear (in your eyes) vision of the story. When it’s turned into a movie those brush strokes might not go the direction you’d want (direction being in terms of painting, keep up). So you’re typically left with an upset.

Here are the trailers for both films….. let’s have a peak shall we?

So, I mean Tony’s Take is sold on what we want to watch. Let’s just assume your girlfriend watches that piece of shit show The Bachelor so naturally she wants to see that dumb ass Fifty Shades of shit movie. Then you’re pretty much screwed unless you can get her to go with her annoying friends.

It doesn’t hurt to throw a Rotten Tomatoes score at her though. Fifty Shades is sitting at a nasty 25% while John Wick is at an impressive 95%. Now we are writing this a couple days before Friday so these scores are bound to change a tad. But not enough to save the chick porn.

Sequels are hardly every good or worth watching. Which horrifies us for Super Troopers 2, but that’s another story we’ll save for a couple months. Seeing that score on RT for John Wick though gives us hope that it’ll break that curse. And if you can’t sway your lady to see John Wick or you have kids, then see The Lego Batman Movie, that’s sitting at an impressive 98%!

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