Why Do They Keep Making Video Game Movies?

Are you excited about Agent 47? No. Well no one else was either. It’s expected to only bring in 8.4 million in its opening weekend. Why did they even make this movie. It’s a sequel to a movie that no one really watched either.

It’s based on a video game that isn’t even all that popular. Video game movies suck anyways, why even make one based on a marginally known game.

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Why do video game movies always suck though? People love video games. Why does Hollywood blow it when it comes to adapting them? Is this a law that can never be broken? Will we ever even see an above average movie based on a game? What is the problem with these movies?

They Always Suck

So video game movies are always bad because they’re always bad. Is that what I’m saying? It’s true though. They’re always bad which means the next is probably going to be bad as well. No one is going to put valuable resources towards a video game movie because they always turn out bad. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.  

Not one video game adaptation has even reached 50% on rottentomatoes. The top scoring is Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, which was such a big flop it almost caused the game studio Square Enix to go under. That’s the best one.

There’s been so many more truly awful video game movies. Remember the Super Mario Bros. movie that really didn’t have that much in common with the games? What about Tomb Raider? It had Angelina Jolie in it and it still sucked. Doom? That movie turned The Rock into a zombie bad guy at the end. They made The Rock a bad guy. What a waste.

Silent Hill, Max Payne, Hitman; the list goes on. Aaron Paul coming off Breaking Bad was set to become a true movie star. He chose a Need for Speed movie as his first starring role. Did anyone like that movie?

The Movies are Not Made by Good Filmmakers

One of the reasons these movies aren’t good is that they aren’t made by the most talented guys in the industry.  t’s not like Steven Spielberg or Martin Scorsese are making video game movies. There’s no Christopher Nolan or Guy Ritchie or Joss Whedon or anyone like that has made a video game movie. Most of them are made by Uwe Boll.

Video Games Aren’t Known For Story

Video Games are about experiencing events and playing through them. A faithful video game adaptation would be all action. How are you even supposed to make a movie about Super Mario Bros. There isn’t even a story. In order to make a real movie based on a game the writers are just going to have to make shit up. That ends up pissing off fans of the games. So you either end up with a nonsensical plot or a bunch of pissed off fans.

There’s Reason for Optimism Though

Video Games have real stories know. Games like Bioshock Infinite and The Last of Us have captivating narratives that can compete with many theatrical releases. The studio Telltale Games is known for their story based games that feature little action. It’s not hard to imagine good movies based on more recent video games.  

There are a few video game movies already in production that could be good. There’s a Ratchet and Clank movie set to come out next summer. The shooter/platformer series is good fun but also has some good animated kid friendly humor. I can see the movie being decent. It won’t be Pixar quality but I can see it being as good as Minions or something like that

Also coming out next year is Warcraft. I know the popular MMORPG has a reputation for being a game for losers with a lot of time on their hands. Let me tell you why it could be good. The movie is directed by Duncan Jones who made the fantastic Sci-Fi movies Moon and Source Code. He’s also David Bowie’s son and David Bowie is the fucking best. Warcraft stars Ben Foster who may not be a household name but I’m sure you’ve seen five movies he’s been in.  

Another potential good video game movie is the planned Assassin’s Creed adaptation. Michael Fassbender is attached to star and produce. I trust Fassbender will make it at least watchable. It could be excellent. I think the solution to making good video game movies is to just make good movies. It will all work itself out if that happens.

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