You’ll never guess what’s in the gift bags for the Oscars!

Let’s face it, a walking tour is not fancy!

Remember going to birthday parties when you were a kid? You would leave that Dave and Buster’s with a bag of party favors; nothing impressive, couple candies, a small tub of Play Doh. It was enough to keep your day going well. In most cases, the party favor bag is only given out at children’s parties. However, every year at the Oscars the party favors are big, impressive, and expensive. Take this year’s gift bag for example. It has a price tag of about $200 K! Yeah, that beats the shit out of that mini Starburst pack and stickers you used to get. What the hell is in that bag to get that cost so high? Let’s have a look!


10 day first class trip to Israel

Cost: $55,000

15 day walking tour of Japan

Cost: $45,000

Luxury toilet paper

Cost: $245


Audi A4 rentals for a year

Cost: $45,000

Lifetime supply of skin creams

Cost: $31,200

No, it’s not Nivea, but no skin creams should amount to 31 grand!

Weight loss gummy bears?

Cost: A deal with the Devil… or $20.00

Breast lift

Cost: $1,900

Don’t think this is too over the top, let’s be real, this is Hollywood we’re talking about! Last years Oscar gift bag was worth about $168K. The company that puts these “bags” together is known as Distinctive Assets. By the way, last year, one of those assets was valued at $20K, and that was to fly out Enigma Life founder Olessia Kantor and discuss their horoscope, analyze dreams, and talk mind control… so what that boils down to is some nut job got paid $20K per celebrity to tell them they are awesome, they need to shed 7 pounds, and the be more firm with their words. What I mean by that is that was all bullshit, 20 grand worth of it!

Before you get too pissed, know that only the cool kids get these. I’m talking about the losing nominees in the main acting and directing categories. Think about it, what would the guy who was nominated for best doc do with a lifetime supply of skin care cream?

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